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Why Retail Kills

20 years old and working in retail. What ladder did I step under and how many god damn windows did I break to deal with people with the common sense of a toad? To be fairly straightforward, I’ve been working this job for about two and a half years, and hate it with every fiber of my being. Let me rant about what I experienced the other day. It’s a goodie, trust me.

So I was walking into work while wearing my navy blue pea-coat and completely hid my work uniform underneath. I’m maybe 15 seconds into the store before I get my ankle clipped by what looks like a badly bruised potato head looking woman with her crying, ear drum piercing asshole of a son. Hate that shit.

Anyway, so this bitch clips my ankle with her cart (as if saying hello wouldn’t get my attention; ramming shit into my ankles is definitely my fetish) and says she needs to find a certain toy for her kid. Who by the way, is what I and most coworkers label as an “asshole.” The kid is crying and blaming me for not having his toy. Now listen, I’m not a fucking servant, I’m here to help you find your shit and evacuate this place as if it’s a death star that Luke and his buddies are about to shoot a fucking torpedo down. I don’t need an attitude little asshole.

So after being more emotionally strong than the girl from Precious, I rang her up. Wonderful idea on my part, absolutely made my day in hell a lot better. Anyway, so I ring up her kid’s toy and it’s only the toy, and then she reaches into her bag to grab a wallet. A wallet, which has no money or any credit cards in. Bitch should have money, she’s wearing a fur coat made of lost dreams and helplessness.

Now by the time I ask her for a payment method, her douche bag of a child has taken the toy out of the box, has done god knows what with it, maybe shoved it in his ass, I JUST DON’T KNOW. She has the figurative balls to ask if she can simply keep it. Like what in the fuck are you asking me right now? Let you steal a toy for your piece of shit child? So that you can set an example that it’s okay to take whatever you want? Fuck no.

So I took the toy, and asked that if they are done shopping to have a safe trip home and walked away. Fucking people man.